06
02
An early failure
Written by Nathan on June 2, 2009 at 10:39 pm from A Month of Serving.
Written by Nathan on June 2, 2009 at 10:39 pm from A Month of Serving.
I’m only in my second day and already I’ve elected to spend the last two hours writing about serving Jenn instead of actually serving her. I did take the kids so that she could turn in early (at 8!) because she was exhausted, but the pile of laundry is still unfolded and the dishes are still dirty.
06
02
Starting small, one lunch at a time
Written by Nathan on June 2, 2009 at 10:37 pm from A Month of Serving.
Written by Nathan on June 2, 2009 at 10:37 pm from A Month of Serving.
Most of the year my oldest two children are enrolled in school, which means that my wife gets a break from motherhood a few days of a week. She teaches at their school so it’s not a break from responsibility entirely but it is a chance for her to get some space from the demands of parenting. But there’s a part of the year when she’s with the kids all the time, and Monday was the first day of the summer, and the first day of three months of Jenn, three kids and some incredible heat.
Like all kids, ours can be demanding (just like they can be amazing). When I’m at work, there’s not much I directly do to help referee fights, occupy kids or tend to the domestic chores during the day. But I can take her out of solo-parenting, however briefly, when I have lunch with the family. So rather than wait the day for big acts at the end of the day, I asked her to bring the kids to meet me for lunch. I don’t know with certainty that the hour pause midday made any huge impact. But for those 60 minutes I got to be the listener, the child-chaser, and the attention-giver. For that little bit of the day, she got to be not just mom, but also Jenn.
Even as I tried to serve and care and help, I knew my invitation them over meant she had to corral the kids to the car, pack the lunch to bring and even at the lunch still share in parenting duty. So it’s possible I did as much damage as good. But I think that a big part of successful service is not just whatever act was done, but also letting someone know you care. Jenn doesn’t know that serving her is my goal this month and I’m hoping to keep it that way. But I think she’ll notice that I’m working as hard to take care of her as she has to work to take care of us, and I do hope that will alleviate some of the weight of her summertime homemaking.
06
02
A Month of Serving
Written by Nathan on June 2, 2009 at 10:12 pm from A Month of Serving.
Written by Nathan on June 2, 2009 at 10:12 pm from A Month of Serving.
For these 30 days of June I have what is either the simplest or hardest goal: to serve my wife.
It should be remarkably easy to find ways to take care of her. We have three children, a dog, a small house where everything that needs doing has no place to hide and a busy life. Finding places and moments where I can take care of her won’t take any effort at all.
It will be hard, though, because the size of the job is daunting. The kids run full time. The less appealing tasks of domestic life are never-ending – there’s always more laundry, more dishes, etc. And serving someone is never free – there’s always something else I could be doing instead that I’ll have to choose not to do, in order to care for her.
Easy or hard the irresistible draw is Jenn. I can’t think of another person I could love more, or a better way to spend my time than in trying to make her life better. So whatever the cost I’m ready.
06
02
The words may have been delayed, but the action was constant
Written by Nathan on June 2, 2009 at 9:37 pm from A Year of Months.
Written by Nathan on June 2, 2009 at 9:37 pm from A Year of Months.
The challenge to chronicling a daily project is that the sometimes the daily documenting interferes with the doing. But just because there are no words, doesn’t mean there isn’t something working behind the scenes. In fact, for the previous two months this project has continued.
April was a month of making the exceptional routine. Every day a something unique—a wedding, a theme park, a date, etc.
May was a month of making the routine exceptional ~or~ 31 days of moustache.
So the writing slowed, but the project’s pace has continued and should continue unabated.
03
10
Missing correlation
Written by Nathan on March 10, 2009 at 10:56 pm from A Month of Wisdom.
Written by Nathan on March 10, 2009 at 10:56 pm from A Month of Wisdom.
I wish there was a stronger correlation between the pursuit of wisdom and quality of sleep.
03
08
Watching my steps
Written by Nathan on March 8, 2009 at 5:07 pm from A Month of Wisdom.
Written by Nathan on March 8, 2009 at 5:07 pm from A Month of Wisdom.
Perhaps I’m behind on reflection, but Proverbs 4 ended with an interesting proverb:
Watch your step,
and the road will stretch out smooth before you.
I’ve done a great deal of driving over the past days, and I think I’ve found Solomon’s principle proven in my time on the road. When I was driving home from church today, there were a pair of bikers heading the same direction as me. The entirety of my 20 minutes drive they alternated between rapid acceleration and hard braking to avoid the traffic that was always hiding plainly in front of them. In contrast, I kept an even speed but paid great attention to the traffic pattern and managed to avoid braking most of the drive by intelligently merging when one lane was slowing down. At the end of the drive, I was a few car lengths ahead of both cars. My drive was smooth and worry free. By comparison, both bikers revealed time and time again their frustration at the traffic that they alone were experiencing.
It’s unlikely Solomon has traffic in mind when he wrote that, but even in this (probably weak) example I can’t help but find the value to wisdom even in the more trivial parts of life.
03
07
Sometimes by force
Written by Nathan on March 7, 2009 at 12:24 am from A Month of Wisdom.
Written by Nathan on March 7, 2009 at 12:24 am from A Month of Wisdom.
Sometimes wisdom is active, but there are sometimes it’s passive. Last night I enjoying a passively wise decision, when my body decided to shut down around 8p. I don’t remember much around the time falling asleep, but I did briefly wake up hours later, realize what had happened and elect not to get up. I vaguely recall thinking it would be smart to acquiesce to my body’s demand to sleep.
03
04
What’s a father’s wisdom look like?
Written by Nathan on March 4, 2009 at 11:41 pm from A Month of Wisdom.
Written by Nathan on March 4, 2009 at 11:41 pm from A Month of Wisdom.
While there are numerous reasons for me to spend a month wising up, among the stated reasons is the recent birth of my third child. A lifetime of pop culture exposure has left me thinking that very soon I should start bestowing some sage advice upon my children and preparing them for the ways of the world. Only thing, is that I don’t really know precisely how to do that, never having been a father prior to my eldest’s birth.
So you can imagine my ears perk up when Proverbs starts talking about wisdom imparted from a father. Of course, in this verse the advice is chiefly about the need to prize wisdom, so it doesn’t quite satisfy my specific need. Or maybe it does. Because I’m without either the knowledge of the specifics of what to say, or even generally way the topics I should be saying things about.
Now I’m wondering if I need to look back at the sorts of advice my own dad gave me, and take some cues there. It’s late, my brain’s been exhausted by the day’s demands and so nothing’s leaping to mind. But it’ll come. In the meantime, I’ll just keep wondering what fatherly wisdom looks like. Tips are, of course, welcome.
03
03
It was evening, it was morning
Written by Nathan on March 3, 2009 at 11:53 pm from Uncategorized.
Written by Nathan on March 3, 2009 at 11:53 pm from Uncategorized.
Today’s practice of wisdom is writing Proverbs 3. To keep my project is perspective, earlier I checked out another notable project’s third day.
03
03
For the love of napping
Written by Nathan on March 3, 2009 at 11:41 pm from A Month of Wisdom.
Written by Nathan on March 3, 2009 at 11:41 pm from A Month of Wisdom.
You’ll take afternoon naps without a worry,
you’ll enjoy a good night’s sleep.
As a frequent and even dedicated napper, I’m glad to know a good nap is something Solomon attributed to wisdom. Based on that metric alone, I’m the wisest man alive.